Engagement Questions!

Hey friends! I’m excited to answer some questions I’ve gotten in regards to our relationship, engagement, and wedding planning updates. I hope you find this helpful and if nothing else, fun to read!

General questions:

How did you meet?

We were introduced to each other by our mutual friend, Kai. Kai and I worked together at our college newspaper and Chris and Kai lived together. Kai would always jokingly tell me that his roommate thought I was cute but at the time I was dating someone else. After a few months, that guy and I went our separate ways and I spent some time healing and casually dating. Chris and I very casually dated for a few months and then he asked me to be his girlfriend. 3.5 years later he asked me to be his wife. 

Is it a good idea for both you and your partner to be debt-free before making the decision to get married?

I think this a wonderful goal but it might not necessarily be realistic depending on the amount of debt each partner has. This is really important to discuss with your partner when you start to think about marriage. Regardless of whether or not you and your partner aim to be debt-free before marriage, I would suggest still having an idea of how you will handle your finances in your marriage. That includes but isn’t limited to, how you will tackle debt. Will you have joint accounts?  Separate accounts? Tackle debt together? How will you handle investing or saving? Will you be signing a prenup? These are all things you should be thinking about.

I also think regardless of being debt-free, it’s important to practice good money habits before heading into marriage. That doesn’t mean you do everything right all the time, it means you’re conscious about your decisions around money and what aspect of money you could improve in. To me, debt freedom is not the ultimate destination, it’s a good accomplishment on my journey to build wealth. 

In full transparency, neither Chris nor I will be 100% debt-free before we get married but we have a plan to tackle what is left of our debt. We know the intricacies of each other’s finances and we have a plan as to how money will be handled in our marriage. 

What are you most excited about when it comes to marriage?

I know it sounds cheesy but spending the rest of my life with my biggest cheerleader and partner in crime. Chris is the most supportive partner and I’ll never not be grateful for how he shows up in our relationship. I’m also excited to accomplish our goals and experience new things together. 

Engagement related questions:

How did he ask?

We went to Wilmington for what I thought was an early birthday trip. Chris planned the whole itinerary and booked everything. We spent that Saturday sightseeing along the Riverwalk. Late that afternoon Chris said that we would be going to a place that he found on the blog to look at the azaleas. We walked around Airlie Gardens taking pictures and chatting. Little did I know, Chris had driven down to Wilmington about a month before with Kai, to plan out the exact spot he planned to propose. We walked down this pretty path near a lake and Chris suggested that he should take a picture of me from behind. When I turned around he was on one knee. After he proposed I looked over to see Kai, our friend that introduced us, snapping pictures and my best friend videoing the whole thing. It was truly the most perfect surprise. 

Was the ring he got you one that you had both already seen? Or was it similar? I never fully understand when people say they look together for a ring. Is it for the size, stone shape, or? Thank you :)

It was very similar! Just some context, we went to look at three different stores together and he went to more before zeroing in on a ring. I left those visits only knowing the cut I wanted.  After knowing the history and continued potential ethical issues with earth-mined diamonds, I knew I wanted moissanite or lab-grown diamonds for my ring.  Chris was skeptical of both stones because, like many of us, he only knew about earth-mined diamonds. He was also concerned about whether or not either of these stones would be a good investment, eventually, we were on the same page, that my ring (regardless of what stones we used) was not an investment. Like cars, they depreciate in value almost immediately, even if they retain personal sentimental value. You can read more about moissanite here and lab-grown diamonds here. Regardless of your choice for a gemstone, I think you should consider your priorities and what you love. 

We went to a local jewelry store that I couldn’t recommend more, called Raleigh Diamond, where they had all three options plus other gemstone options. We tried on a lot of different options and Chris was able to see moissanite and lab-grown diamonds in person which was important to him. I liked different things from each ring but the great thing about Raleigh diamond is that they can customize every little thing and they pride themselves on that. So I listed out my must-haves (some combination of moissanite and lab-grown, oval cut, yellow gold band with a white gold halo) and they saved it under my profile. Chris then went back to customize it. He picked the width of the band, added diamonds where he saw fit, chose the carats, and more. 

Wedding related questions:

Marriage or Mortgage?

Whatever is the best decision for you! There are so many nuanced factors to consider. I think oftentimes couples choosing the wedding get a bad rep but I respect their choice just like I respect the choice for those who choose the house. I know it’s just a show but a lot of these couples could do both if they were willing to compromise a few things on either side, but that’s neither here nor there. We are opting for a wedding for a variety of reasons. We also love the city of Raleigh and would definitely buy a house here, but with me graduating next year, we’re not sure where the next steps in my career might take us, so we’re renting for the time being. We’re excited about our decision and like so many other decisions, yours is a personal one that only you can make!

Have you set a date?

We have! Friday, July 1, 2022! 

Have you booked any vendors so far?

We have! We’ve booked our venue, our DJ, and our day of coordinator so far. Next up is the florist and photographer!

Thanks for reading y’all!

Stay sassy,

Steph